Reconnecting with Your Partner After Baby: Asking Open-Ended Questions Activity ~Dr. Katie Godfrey

Reconnecting with Your Partner After Baby: Asking Open-Ended Questions Activity

Adapted from And Baby Makes Three by John M. Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman

The transition from couple-hood to parent-hood can be exhilarating, exhausting, fascinating, enchanting, and overwhelming. Oftentimes couples are focused on their babies (rightly so!) and may feel distanced from their partners. These open-ended questions serve to open up conversations between partners, thus recharging the connection you and your partner share. You’ll be surprised at how much your relationship will change if you shift from just making statements to asking your partner open-ended questions.

Instructions: First, read through this list. Then, each of you select one question. Take turns asking your partner the question you selected, and listening to your partners answer. If you have time, keep going and talk about another question or two. This is fun for a date night, a long car ride, or any time!

  • How can I be a better friend to you?
  • How have you changed in the last year?
  • What do you enjoy most about being a dad (mom)?
  • How have your goals in life changed since our baby has come?
  • What are you missing most in your live since we’ve become parents?
  • What are some of your life dreams now?
  • What do you value most in your life now?
  • Who do you think is the best parent you have ever seen? Why?
  • How can I be a better partner to you?
  • How do you think having our baby (or being pregnant) has changed our relationship? What legacy do you want our baby to have from your family?
  • What are some unfulfilled dreams in your life?
  • What changes would you like to make in your lifestyle now that Baby has arrived? What changes would you like to make in your home these days?
  • What would you like to change about your finances right now?
  • How has your family changed toward you since Baby arrived?
  • How has your outlook on life changed since you became a parent?
  • How are you feeling now about being a mother (father)?
  • What could we do to have more fun in our life?
  • What would you like to change about your work?
  • What would you like our life to be like in two years?
  • How would you compare yourself to your father or mother as a parent? What kind of person would you like our baby to become?
  • Who does our baby remind you of in your family?
  • What has been your favorite time so far in our relationship?
  • Do you long for anything these days?
  • What is the biggest challenge for you as a dad (mom)?
  • What are your major stresses and worries these days?
  • What are your thoughts and feelings about religion or spirituality these days? How have your political ideas changed since Baby came?
  • How have your friends or family changed toward you in recent years?

To enhance your relationship further, please contact Dr. Katie Godfrey at The Catalyst Center. Change begins today!

Suggestions for Family and Friends of Postpartum Moms ~Dr. Katie Godfrey

Postpartum Depression, Anxiety, Obsessive Compulsion, and Trauma:

Suggestions for Family and Friends

 Postpartum depression threatens the mother’s and partner’s health, relationship, friendships and careers, as well as the baby’s welfare.  Dealing with issues of day-to-day living becomes a special challenge.  With patience and understanding, you can give invaluable support and assist a depressed mother’s recovery.  Here are some suggestions:

  • Encourage her to seek the help of a physician and/or psychiatrist.  An evaluation is important, and medication may be very helpful.  There are some medications that are considered safe during breastfeeding.  Consult your physician.
  • Encourage her to seek therapy.
  • Let the mother express her feelings of anxiety and fear freely.
  • Encourage her to exercise and take time for herself.
  • Encourage the mother to join a PPD support group.
  • Help her develop a schedule with one or two simple tasks.  Notice when she makes an effort.
  • Don’t take her criticism personally.
  • You are justified in being frustrated with her attitude and actions, but be sure to direct your anger at the situation and her illness, not at her.  She is doing the best she can in her current condition.
  • Be aware that you can get depressed yourself, and may need help as well.  Talk to a friend, physician, or therapist.

**Adapted from Postpartum Education for Parents

The Catalyst Center is here to help.  We offer individual, couple, and family therapy, as well as a Birth Circle where mothers can share birth stories.  Please contact us for more information.  Change Begins Today.

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Dr. Katie Godfrey is a therapist at The Catalyst Center. Her specialties include:

Ready to learn more or book your free initial consultation with Katie? Give The Catalyst Center a call at 720-675-7123.

Spring’s Featured Catalyst Center Therapist: Dr. Katie Godfrey

ImageAs spring is approaching, many people are deciding it is time to take the opportunity to do some emotional “spring cleaning” and are looking for a great therapist to help them meet their goals. The Catalyst Center’s Dr. Katie Godfrey is an excellent choice for someone looking for a warm, genuine, and empowering therapist. Katie excels at building meaningful connections with her clients as they work together towards growth and healing. Her clients value the experience of being deeply cared for as they work with Katie to transform their lives. In her over ten years of clinical experience her clients have often told her that they value how genuine she is, and appreciates how she balances challenging them to grow with supporting them. Katie has specialized training in several areas of expertise including helping her clients heal from trauma with EMDR and treating postpartum depression and anxiety.

Dr. Katie Godfrey’s Specialties Include:

This quarter, Dr. Godfrey has graciously agreed to lend her expertise to our blog with a series of articles about the postpartum period. She has great advice for new moms and dads who are struggling with the amazing/crazy/awesome/exhausting process of becoming parents. We are incredibly lucky to have her here at The Catalyst Center and are excited to be able to share some of her insight with you all!

To learn more about Katie’s work at The Catalyst Center, or to book your free initial consultation with her, please give us a call at 720-675-7123.